350125g0's TV shows > TV reviews by 350125g0

Social Darwinism at its best!

Posted : 7 months, 3 weeks ago on 6 April 2009 05:28 (A review of "1000 Ways to Die")

1000 Ways to Die is a graphic and often hilarious TV show that describes in detail bizarre and unusual deaths due to poor choices or just sheer bad luck. With the help of CGI graphics, dramatization and scientific expert commentary, we're shown each person's last few minutes on earth and exactly how they managed to bite the dust.

The names of the "victims" have been changed to "protect the identity of the deceased" and each death has a number and a clever or quirky title.

I found out about this show thanks to my boyfriend and his keen ability to find the strangest, most bizarre programming on television. After watching one or two episodes I was hooked. However, after viewing about a half-dozen episodes, I didn't find it as amusing as I did at first. The main reason for this is its tendency to over-dramatize deaths and inject unnecessary sexual situations. Examples of this:


Episode 3, Death #199 - "Me So Hornet"

A man is threatened by his wife that if he doesn't get rid of the hornet's nest in the back yard she will refuse him sex. The man gets a paintball gun and shoots down the nest. The hornets attack him and trigger anaphylactic shock due to his unknown allergy to hornet venom.

My problem with this: Is it too complicated to assume some dumb redneck simply decided to shoot down a nest of hornets with a paintball gun? Why was it necessary to dramatize a big-boobed blonde-haired daisy-duke wearing "wife" that refused a romp in the hay if her hubby didn't get rid of the hornet's nest?

The answer: Because Spike TV has to appeal to its male viewers and insert scantily-clad women and sexual situations where they don't necessarily belong all for rating's sake.


Episode 4, Death #269 - "Window Pained"

A peeping tom stumbles upon a sultry woman dancing around her house in lingerie. In order to get a closer look he partially enters the window and accidentally knocks out the window support with his elbow. The window falls down on his neck between the C2 and C3 vertebrae, killing him instantly.

My problem with this: I have no doubt that a fellow died exactly that way, but c'mon, was he really a peeping tom? Why couldn't it have just been a burgler? Or a maintenance man working on a window?

The answer: Because Spike TV has to appeal to its male viewers and insert scantily-clad women and sexual situations where they don't necessarily belong all for rating's sake.


Episode 7, Death #314 - "Dung For" (originally called "Shit Happens")

A farm hand is caught having sex with the farmer's buxom daughter. The farmer chases the farm hand who then hides in a truck full of manure. A load of manure is dumped into the truck, suffocating/crushing him.

My problem with this: Why couldn't the farm hand have been working in the truck and a load accidentally piled on top of him? Why did he have to be doing the farmer's daughter and then chased into the truck by the farmer?

The answer: Because Spike TV has to appeal to its male viewers and insert scantily-clad women and sexual situations where they don't necessarily belong all for rating's sake.


Personally, I think the deaths are unusual and grizzly enough to draw viewers in. All you need are the deaths themselves and sexual situations only where they apply. Here are a few good examples of this:


Episode #3, Death #674 - "Kill-Do"

A woman masturbates with a carrot which causes a laceration in her vagina. Air from the motion of the object being inserted in and out enters the laceration and causes an air embolism which travels to her heart and kills her.


Episode #9, Death #1 - "Ichiboned"

A shy Japanese couple aren't able to consummate their marriage by having sex. After seven years and some alcohol, they try once more. Both of them die from cardiac arrest after achieving simultaneous orgasms.


Of course, not all deaths are sexual in nature. For instance, the sword swallower who takes a bet to swallow an umbrella, only to have it accidentally open up in his trachea. Or the woman so desperate to lose weight she swallows tapeworm larvae - the tapeworms eat everything she does, but eventually breed and start eating away at her insides. Or how about the two morons who thought it would be cool to snort fire ants.

Overall, the show gets good marks from me simply because the idea for the show is so goddamn brilliant. The execution, on the other hand, is sometimes lacking. If you're of the faint of heart you may want to avoid this one. However, if your tastes are a touch morbid and/or you like scantily-clad women, this one's for you.

1 comments, Reply to this entry