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Reviews by 350125g0
One Hell of an ending
Posted : 5 months, 3 weeks ago on 3 June 2009 04:31
(A review of Drag Me to Hell)I went into this film without knowing much about its plot except that it involved some sort of invocation of a curse that damned the main character to Hell. That was enough for me to go and see it in theatres, not to mention that it was directed by Sam Raimi (of Evil Dead fame). I was hoping to see his brilliant - albeit somewhat cheesy - style of combining horror and comedy, and I certainly wasn't disappointed in that regard. Drag Me to Hell is the story of a woman who's up for a major promotion at the bank she works at. In order to prove to her boss that's she's fully capable of making tough decisions, she refuses an extension on an old gypsy woman's mortgage payment. Shamed and infuriated, the old woman stalks Christine (Allison Lohman) after work and bestows upon her the curse of the Lamia, a force that will drag her to Hell in three day's time. What impressed me the most was the perfect mix of necessary realism (both in situation and effects) and comedic relief. It reminded me why the Evil Deads (and including Army of Darkness) were so great and how this film in particular really worked because of it. Despite the fact that I jumped a few times (something I rarely do), one part made me really uncomfortable - one word: kitten. And although a few parts were predictable, especially an important one pertaining to the ending, I was still shocked and completely satisfied with the ending altogether. Drag Me to Hell signals Raimi's triumphant return to horror, despite his recent meanderings into vapid blockbuster fluff, and I look forward to what he's capable of doing with the genre in the future.  4 comments, Reply to this entry
Social Darwinism at its best!
Posted : 7 months, 3 weeks ago on 6 April 2009 05:28
(A review of "1000 Ways to Die")1000 Ways to Die is a graphic and often hilarious TV show that describes in detail bizarre and unusual deaths due to poor choices or just sheer bad luck. With the help of CGI graphics, dramatization and scientific expert commentary, we're shown each person's last few minutes on earth and exactly how they managed to bite the dust. The names of the "victims" have been changed to "protect the identity of the deceased" and each death has a number and a clever or quirky title. I found out about this show thanks to my boyfriend and his keen ability to find the strangest, most bizarre programming on television. After watching one or two episodes I was hooked. However, after viewing about a half-dozen episodes, I didn't find it as amusing as I did at first. The main reason for this is its tendency to over-dramatize deaths and inject unnecessary sexual situations. Examples of this: Episode 3, Death #199 - "Me So Hornet" A man is threatened by his wife that if he doesn't get rid of the hornet's nest in the back yard she will refuse him sex. The man gets a paintball gun and shoots down the nest. The hornets attack him and trigger anaphylactic shock due to his unknown allergy to hornet venom. My problem with this: Is it too complicated to assume some dumb redneck simply decided to shoot down a nest of hornets with a paintball gun? Why was it necessary to dramatize a big-boobed blonde-haired daisy-duke wearing "wife" that refused a romp in the hay if her hubby didn't get rid of the hornet's nest? The answer: Because Spike TV has to appeal to its male viewers and insert scantily-clad women and sexual situations where they don't necessarily belong all for rating's sake. Episode 4, Death #269 - "Window Pained" A peeping tom stumbles upon a sultry woman dancing around her house in lingerie. In order to get a closer look he partially enters the window and accidentally knocks out the window support with his elbow. The window falls down on his neck between the C2 and C3 vertebrae, killing him instantly. My problem with this: I have no doubt that a fellow died exactly that way, but c'mon, was he really a peeping tom? Why couldn't it have just been a burgler? Or a maintenance man working on a window? The answer: Because Spike TV has to appeal to its male viewers and insert scantily-clad women and sexual situations where they don't necessarily belong all for rating's sake. Episode 7, Death #314 - "Dung For" (originally called "Shit Happens") A farm hand is caught having sex with the farmer's buxom daughter. The farmer chases the farm hand who then hides in a truck full of manure. A load of manure is dumped into the truck, suffocating/crushing him. My problem with this: Why couldn't the farm hand have been working in the truck and a load accidentally piled on top of him? Why did he have to be doing the farmer's daughter and then chased into the truck by the farmer? The answer: Because Spike TV has to appeal to its male viewers and insert scantily-clad women and sexual situations where they don't necessarily belong all for rating's sake. Personally, I think the deaths are unusual and grizzly enough to draw viewers in. All you need are the deaths themselves and sexual situations only where they apply. Here are a few good examples of this: Episode #3, Death #674 - "Kill-Do" A woman masturbates with a carrot which causes a laceration in her vagina. Air from the motion of the object being inserted in and out enters the laceration and causes an air embolism which travels to her heart and kills her. Episode #9, Death #1 - "Ichiboned" A shy Japanese couple aren't able to consummate their marriage by having sex. After seven years and some alcohol, they try once more. Both of them die from cardiac arrest after achieving simultaneous orgasms. Of course, not all deaths are sexual in nature. For instance, the sword swallower who takes a bet to swallow an umbrella, only to have it accidentally open up in his trachea. Or the woman so desperate to lose weight she swallows tapeworm larvae - the tapeworms eat everything she does, but eventually breed and start eating away at her insides. Or how about the two morons who thought it would be cool to snort fire ants. Overall, the show gets good marks from me simply because the idea for the show is so goddamn brilliant. The execution, on the other hand, is sometimes lacking. If you're of the faint of heart you may want to avoid this one. However, if your tastes are a touch morbid and/or you like scantily-clad women, this one's for you. 1 comments, Reply to this entry
A pleasure indeed
Posted : 11 months ago on 29 December 2008 09:28
(A review of Unknown Pleasures)As a massive Joy Division fan, I'm shamed to say that Unknown Pleasures wasn't the first album I owned. Instead, Substance was the first JD album I picked up, which led me to purchase Unknown Pleasures next. It's definitely very high in my personal top favourite albums of all time, and my favourite of Joy Division's, if you don't count Warsaw's (aka Joy Division) self-titled release. Every song on the album portrays a full spectrum of emotions: anxiety, freedom, relief, anger, complete and utter sadness, with lyrical themes that range from betrayal, death, depression, religion and crumbling sanity. And it's done in an honest and profound way, not silly and contrived. My favourite tracks are Disorder, She's Lost Control and Shadowplay, with my least favourite being I Remember Nothing. The cover art is beautifully minimalistic and one of my favourite album covers ever. Unknown Pleasures is a timeless masterpiece of lyrical genius and emotional expression. It sounds nothing like what other bands were doing around that time and still sounds like nothing around today, although many have tried - albeit unsucessfully - to mimic Joy Division's unique sound and dynamic. And to claim they haven't left an important mark in music history would be sheer stupidity. 0 comments, Reply to this entry
Important, essential and memorable
Posted : 11 months ago on 28 December 2008 06:26
(A review of Too Dark Park)Too Dark Park is an extremely important album in my own personal musical history. In fact, of all the music I've ever heard and owned, it still ranks very high in my personal top ten. This one album changed my view toward music and immediately made me turn my back completely on hum-drum and vapid popular music. It's also the first CD I actually owned. At the tender age of thirteen, I walked into a record shop and befriended an employee who recommended this album to me. After getting it and listening to it in its entirety, I remember, with much amazement and wonder, thinking, "Music like this exists?!". I was blown away. It completely shattered my socially acceptable idea that music was supposed to sound a certain way. I listened to it for months on end, every day and even at night when I went to sleep. Next, I sought out other Skinny Puppy material - none quite compare to Too Dark Park - and discovered other industrial artists, then other subgenres, and the rest is sublime history. This album is perfect in every way. It contains, in my opinion, some of Skinny Puppy's best lyrics (I'm fairly certain I know every song forward and backward) and my favourite artwork of any SP album. The best tracks are Nature's Revenge, Tormentor, Spasmolytic and Grave Wisdom, with my least favourite being Reclamation. It also produced the best singles of any of their albums. After all of the music I have ever been exposed to, Too Dark Park is still so fucking dark and brilliant and not one I'd sell or give away for anything. There isn't much else to say except that I unconditionally love it and it makes me laugh to think how horrible and dull my music tastes could have turned out to be had it not been for this one album. 2 comments, Reply to this entry
Not legendary
Posted : 11 months ago on 27 December 2008 06:15
(A review of I Am Legend)I had been meaning to see this one for quite some time, but just didn't get around to it. Also, a lot of negative feedback from others who had already watched the movie made me want to wait even longer to see it. My biggest problem with the film was its lack of explanation for many things. You don't know precisely how the virus took a turn for the worse and infects so many, nor what Robert Neville's (Will Smith) exact roll was in the beginning. You only see him play his part after the virus has spread through New York City and it's being quarantined. I was left with many questions at the end of the film. Did Neville creature-proof his home in a matter of a single day? How were the vampires/zombies able to learn new things? Where exactly did Anna and Ethan come from, and how had they survived up until the point they're introduced in the film? How did Anna scare away all of those creatures with a single light - and what kind of light was it? How did Anna and Ethan get to Vermont in only a car? What's the deal with the deer? And if the creatures were, in fact, as smart as we were lead to believe, how did that whole colony of people in Vermont survive? Also, the injection of God and "his plan" made me ill. Overall, the film had great potential. The subject material was fantastic and the setting and visuals were great, aside from the cheap CGI effects for the creatures. Will Smith's acting was no legendary feat, but you did feel sympathy for a man so alone against such overwhelming odds. I think Sam (the dog) was probably my favourite inclusion in the film. Anytime an animal companion and its human are separated by tragic circumstance, I crumble. With all that said, after so many flaws and plot holes you're left with only a mediocre film that could have been legendary. 5 comments, Reply to this entry
"What's the worst thing you've ever done?"
Posted : 1 year, 1 month ago on 11 October 2008 06:18
(A review of The Lost)The Lost is adapted from the novel of the same name by cult novelist Jack Ketchum (Red, The Girl Next Door) and based on the real life story of teen-aged serial killer Ray Pye. The film starts like some surreal fairy tale with the first words upon the screen, "Once upon a time there was a boy called Ray Pye. He put crushed beer cans in his boots to make himself look taller". And then the opening scene: We see a pair of black cowboy boots walking briskly up a wooded hill only to come upon an outdoor toilet. The wooden door swings open and a naked girl appears and apologizes, uncomfortably explaining that she thought she and her friend were the only ones there. With that, I knew I was in for something interesting. Later that night Ray and two friends, Jen and Tim, come upon the two girls camping nearby. Ray hatches a plan to "pop them", as if they were rabbits, and with smooth, precise words, coerces his two panicked friends into helping him cover it up. One moment from the film that disturbed me, but was a fascinating sequence of absurd shots, was the image of Ray sitting on a tree stump a small distance from the body of one of the girls he'd just killed, eating from a bag of chips, nonchalantly looking at her as if she were a part of the scenery. He went on to eat a hotdog slathered in ketchup and even roasted a few marshmallows. I couldn't help but laugh! Four years pass and Ray has never been charged with the murder of the two campers, even though local law enforcement know he did it, but with insufficient evidence could never arrest and convict him. Ray delves deeper into a world saturated of sex, drugs and lies, and one gets the impression that he's simply a ticking time bomb with an extremely short fuse. He soon meets Kathy, a mysterious and attractive girl who's just moved to town. The two seem nearly perfect for one another, and it's easy to see that Ray's finally met his match. When he tells her "the worst thing he's ever done" her attraction to him only grows stronger. Mix in Ray's foul temper, drugs, alcohol, ego, and friends who are betrayed and are betraying in return, and voila! you can bet the culmination of events is explosive and unforgettable. This could have been a crap film. It could have languished at the hands of an inexperienced director and landed in the sub-b-film category. Instead, my expectations of the film were far surmounted, even though I knew it would be decent based on the trailer. The acting, especially from Marc Senter (who plays Ray), is amazing - you can't help but get sucked into every facet of his world. Even the soundtrack was a driving force and one I really enjoyed. I laughed in recognition of Blood Duster's "On the Hunt" and "Drink, Fight, Fuck", both went along nicely with the scenarios that were played out to each track. The gore was not just for gore's sake but done in a really fantastic and memorable way. If you're easily squeamish about violence, especially of a particularly gruesome sort, The Lost isn't for you. But like the words that flashed upon the screen during the credits, "If you liked the movie, read the book. If you didn't like the movie, read the book."; I liked it and I think I'm going to read the book. 0 comments, Reply to this entry
I want to believe too...
Posted : 1 year, 3 months ago on 30 July 2008 11:57
(A review of The X Files: I Want to Believe)Being a long-time fan of the television show, I was really excited to see this one. I also wanted to see if it would live up to the first X-Files full-length feature film. Sadly, for me, it didn't. The film's plot was kept closely under wraps until it was released, and the trailers were very exciting. Creator Chris Carter stated before it was released that it had the feel of an episode, unlike the huge production the first film was. I was intrigued. However, I left the theatre feeling like I'd just watched a long, drawn-out episode and I caught myself yawning more than once. Scully (Gillian Anderson) and Mulder's (David Duchovny) chemistry has evaporated and the film feels rushed and muddled. I don't think it was necessary to even make this movie; the plot could just as easily have been an episode in one of the latter seasons of the show. To me, it was neither good nor bad, just an unnecessary endeavor for creator Chris Carter and crew. I read many reviews from both critics and others who watched the film, and I got a mixture of feelings. On one hand, you have those who were loyal fans of the show, own the DVD sets, etc., and their scores for the film ranged from average to fairly high. Those who were either casual viewers of the show or knew absolutely nothing about it gave it poor scores. Which speaks volumes and makes complete sense to me - this movie was for the fans. There are little nuances and situations inserted that only fans could be able to acknowledge and understand. The X-Files ended after nine seasons in 2002. Now, six years after the season finale, this film leaves a bitter taste in the mouth, whether you're a fan or not. 0 comments, Reply to this entry
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